I think we have established here just how passionate I am about bringing down the Kermitocracy. Seriously, given the choice between bringing down the Kermitocracy, and, say, winning a trillion dollars, I would feel much wealthier bringing an end to the Porcine-Anuran Campaign.
That said, I am obviously an advocate for anything that will help end the reign of terror that Kermit is perpetrating against us humans on a daily basis. Any and all actions taken against the Kermitocracy are worthy of our utmost respect, even our reverence.
But some attempts at steeling ourselves against Kermit just miss the mark.
Case in point: Forterra Systems, Inc. They have apparently invented a way for workers home sick with the Miss Piggy Flu to continue to be productive through the use of avatar conferencing software, not unlike Second Life (except without the fun).
According to their press release:
The solution, based on 3D Internet technology, allows users to work from remote locations and be as productive as they would be in live settings without the risk of spreading or being exposed to the potentially fatal virus.
Using existing compute and networking technologies found in most businesses, academic or government organizations, the solution allows users to use a PC to log into a secure virtual environment where they are represented as a fully-animated avatar.
Through this avatar-based computer interface, users are able to perform a broad range of communication and collaboration tasks…They can share and present a variety of media and documents to other participants with just a few clicks of a mouse. The avatars breathe, move naturally, and perform a broad range of hand and body gestures — just as people do in the real world — which creates a more natural and compelling environment for the participants. The results of all interactions are visible and audible to all participants logged into the environment.
Avatars can easily be customized to look exactly like the real users instantly creating recognition and trusted bonds between users in the virtual setting. Users are able to talk to each other naturally through the use of integrated VOIP technology using a headset.
Users can work from home or any other location and remain connected to the rest of the organization or external parties as if they were physically co-located, enabling them to stay productive.
The ability to bring your employees and your entire business ecosystem together in a familiar setting where they can collaborate as they would in the real world is critical to support continuity of operations.
In these uncertain times where the H1N1 virus has the potential to cripple your business, this solution offers a simple and effective way to maintain continuity of operations by allowing employees to work remotely.
“The wide-spread outbreak of the H1N1 virus poses a real risk to continuing operations for many corporations, government agencies and academic institutions — it’s not just a warning this time,” said Dave Rolston, CEO of Forterra Systems. “The solution we’re offering is a tool that allows your employees to work remotely, stay connected and remain productive. It does not require new equipment or infrastructure. You can start easily and grow, as needed. If you don’t have an effective plan for continuity of operations with the current pandemic you need one — and it should include this solution.”
Seriously?
What happened to the conference call?
People really seem to be getting off on complaining about Wal-Mart’s sick leave policy, but at least Wal-Mart workers don’t have to do their jobs from home when they get sick. Call me socialist, but if I get the swine flu, I doubt I’ll be “logging on” to give my PowerPoint presentation on quarterly earnings from home. If I did, I would make sure to hack, sneeze, and snort my way to an awkward ending of said presentation.
This company also seems to be big on selling their “humanistic” avatar system as a huge benefit. I mean, have they ever heard of The Sims, or Yoville? This isn’t exactly an innovation.
Yoville Avatars
The reason I am so worked up about this is that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people out there right now trying to develop new and innovative ways to bring the Kermitocracy to its knees. Meanwhile, this company is cooking up regurgitations of classic sim games in order to keep sick people working.
Forterra User
It’s a waste of resources, and only inhibits our ability as humans to continue the campaign against the Porcine-Anuran Movement.
If this company really wanted to develop something that would matter in these trying times, they would have cooked up a combat sim that would give the user terrifyingly realistic representations of American cities being overrun by Kermit and his cohorts.
If anyone knows of any such game, please notify this blog immediately. I obviously would want to spread the word and give the developer of such a game the proper accolades.
In the meantime, please spread the word about this senseless, offensive, and pointless development.
